Jul
01
Posted by admin
The dating world can be a very intimidating place. It’s even more so if you are a shy person. Trying to approach a woman you are interested in can become overwhelming if you find yourself feeling uncomfortable in social situations. With the right dating advice for shy guys you can learn how to strike up a conversation with an attractive woman and ensure that she finds you charming and intriguing.
One of the best pieces of dating advice for shy guys is to carefully choose where you go to meet women. Most men consider a crowded bar or nightclub the optimum choice. It’s not. If you are unsure about how to get a woman’s attention, going to a crowded nightspot will make it even more challenging. Most nightclubs will be packed with other single men all looking for the same thing you are. You’d do much better to go to a relaxed spot where you know you’ll have something to talk to a woman about. Pick a grocery store, hardware store or library. Not only will your competition be much less but it’s a lot easier to get her attention by asking about something as non-threatening as how delicious the fruit is at this time of year or what book she recommends.
Listening can sometimes be a lost art form, particularly in the singles scene. One of the most helpful pieces of dating advice for shy guys is to listen when you are interested in a woman. Once you approach here, ensure that you listen carefully to what she says. If you’ve been nervous in the past about what you’ll talk to an attractive woman about, that issue can be solved by listening and picking up on what she is saying. If she talks about her work, ask her questions about it. Not only will it keep the conversation flowing smoothly but your interest in her will really impress her too.
There’s no shame in bringing along some support when you are venturing out to meet women. Bring along a single friend and look to them for encouragement. It can be much easier to approach a woman if you are with someone else. She’ll likely also see you as less threatening. Once the conversation starts, your friend can politely excuse himself leaving you to focus just on the woman. This is great dating advice for shy guys because it can give them a little extra boost in confidence knowing they’ve got someone supportive nearby.
Women understand that not all men are lady killers. They are actually incredibly grateful for that fact. Once you get to know a woman, don’t be afraid to tell her that you are a little shy. It will give her some insight into how you’re feeling and it will make you feel better knowing she understands.
Even shy guys can have amazing success with beautiful women.
By Gillian Reynolds
Jun
28
Posted by admin
Since we live in an information age that is active twenty four hours a day and seven days a week, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by the countless options and decisions we are confronted with on a regular basis. Nowhere is this more apparent than dating
Relationships between men and women have crossed a whole new threshold. Factor in some of the newer innovations like internet and speed dating and it becomes clear the possibilities seem almost endless. But times cannot change what many of us feel before, during and after a date. In spite of knowing the other person for quite some time, being comfortable with them in a different environment and getting an enthusiastic yes when you ask them for a date, it still does not stop your nerves from giving you plenty of grief.
A big part of being nervous is of course you want the date to go right. Carefully planning a date and then watching it fall apart before your eyes is a nightmare we all dread. No question if you have ever experienced this, there is a little voice of doubt saying, “Here we go again.One other explanation is lack of self-assurance. You may not have experienced a bad date or this may even be your first date but you still feel shaky. For some reason it always seems like the equivalent of having to do a public speaking engagement in front of a tough audience.
It is not to that extreme but it can feel like you are auditioning and in a way you are. You are selling the product known as you and hope the prospective buyer (your date) like what they see and hear. If they so no then you are faced with rejection which no matter how you look at it can be very painful. All of us want to be wanted. It is easy to understand why anyone who has ever been rejected would be reluctant to try again. No is a simple word that packs a terrific punch that can shake anyone to the core.
So what’s the alternative? Not to date anyone and in the long run that’s far worst. Never giving a relationship a chance because your nerves just could not stand anything unconstructive can do more damage than experiencing rejection. Does rejection hurt? Yes but it doesn’t mean that your world will come to an end. Just keep in mind that if they reject you then it is their loss.
Your date is not on a pedestal. While you definitely want your date to accept you there is no reason to beg for it. It is all about give and take and realizing both of you are on the same level. Be confident in what you have to offer the other person. If they accept, then that is something to build on, if not then wish them well and keep looking for the person that is more in tune to your frequency; they do exist.
Accept the fact that a certain amount of nervousness is going to exist and in some ways can keep you focused on the task at hand. Do all you can to guarantee it does not take over the date. Relax and expect that you and your date will have a good time. With that mindset you will.
Written by Daryl Campbell
Jun
24
Posted by admin
“I Want You to Want Me” is an art exhibit premiering in New York City. As reported by the New York Times the purpose of the exhibit is to show how people act when they are alone and in comparison to what they present to others in their online dating profile.
One of the creators of the exhibit Jonathan Harris explains, “People think contradictions are sexy, so they try to describe themselves as having contradictions.”
That is probably true. Along with an air of mystery, people are also excited meeting another person who does not quite fit into a stereotypical box. For instance you may see someone’s photo where they are dressed to the nines in punk rock attire and figure that tells you all you need to know. However after doing more investigating you discover they have a passion for silent movies and 17th century Italian paintings. Finding out something unexpected about a potential dating partner can have a startling effect especially when it turns out to be compatible.
Unfortunately with online dating, contradictions can also mean something else entirely. In other words, they are just flat out lying. There could be any number of reasons why they refuse to tell you the truth.
1. The Unthrilling Life
They read your profile, chat with you and come to the conclusion you have led a pretty interesting life. They on the other hand do not feel so good about their experiences. It could be embarrassment, just plain hurt or the feeling they cannot compete with what you have to offer. Should they feel that way? No. But many of us sometimes analyze our lives to the point of ridiculous.
2. They REALLY like you
Sally Field’s Academy Award acceptance speech has become part of our pop culture folklore: “You like me. You really like me.” Many people have made fun of that speech over the years but more than anything it was all about acceptance. No matter what level a person may be on, everyone wants to be accepted in some way. Sometimes if a person likes you enough, they are more than willing to shade or change their answers outright so you will accept them. They may think this is flattering. It is not. It has the stench of neediness written all over it.
3. The Dark Side
Thankfully instances of online dating hookups that have gone tragically wrong are few and far between. But they do happen. There are people out there whose sole intent is to pull you into their own personal insane asylum; so they will say anything they can to get you to open the door. They must be cunning to do this but they know that mystery, human curiosity and contradictions can have your emotions spinning out of control.
Contradictions in an online dating profile are great as long as they are of the truthful variety. Knowing that a person’s likes and interests go further than what you initially assumed is a wonderful thing. Building a relationship on a lie however even if the intentions are good can only lead to disastrous results for everyone involved.
Written by Daryl Campbell
Jun
20
Posted by admin
By all accounts the divorce rate in America has been on the decline. According to USA Today, it is now at its lowest level since 1970. Certainly this is a cause for celebration but it does not negate the fact that The United States still leads the rest of the world in that department or that one out of every two marriages will end in divorce.
There are a myriad of reasons as to why many relationships end badly. Sometimes in spite of the best efforts of both parties it still does not work. But more often than not many a couple has made a concerted effort (consciously or unconsciously) to sabotage their relationship. While there are a number of ways to throw a monkey wrench into the proceedings, the following must be at the top of any list when it comes to breaking up.
1. Communication Barrier
This is one of the main reasons relationship coaches remain in business. Many couples don’t talk. If they do talk at it all it’s usually past each other or turns it an argument. Lack of communication also is to a certain degree a lack of trust. You don’t believe you can share more of yourself. Whether it’s fear of rejection or just not believing they will be understood, the lack of trust can easily turn into not sharing anything at all.
The added side affect is that it has a tendency to put the other person on the defensive. They believe now they have done something wrong and since you are not giving them any indication one way or the other, the tension grows.
2. Money
We’ve seen many shows where a couple arguing over money has been played for laughs but in the real world it’s no joke. A survey by Redbook and Smart Money magazines shows over seventy percent of people in a relationship talk to their partners at least once a week about money. It is so easy with soaring prices across the economic board for a discussion about basic household finances to get heated. Taking care of the family and home should be a gimme but even in that situation two people are bound to have a different perspective.
This is true even if you don’t have money troubles. One partner might not feel it’s a big deal since they have money to burn. That can cause some resentment particularly if one of you has been the primary breadwinner. No one can (or should) get their way all the time in any healthy relationship but there has to be boundaries. By all means make sure you and your partner do not work out a clear understanding or honor any financial decision you may reach.
3. Player
This should go without saying. So why doesn’t it? In a recent study conducted by Infidelity Facts, 57% of men and 53% women surveyed admit to cheating on their partner regardless of whether it is dating or marriage. Excuses can range from they are stuck in a loveless relationship and the new person makes them feel alive again to the thrill of sneaking around and doing something a bit reckless.
Whatever the excuse, introducing a third person into the picture means in essence the current relationship is over. “I love my spouse but…” is not going to cut it. Any chance to work out whatever problems you may be experiencing in your relationship will disappear once you get entangled with another person.
There is no quick fix or magic cure when it comes to relationships. It’s hard work day by day, hour by hour. Even couples that have been together awhile and think they have the problems solved are shocked when life turns their relationship upside down. However if you want your relationship to end badly feel free to use any or all of the techniques above. They are guaranteed to do the trick.
Written by Daryl Campbell
Jun
17
Posted by admin
My name is Bond. James Bond. Don’t laugh: Even though they’re just fiction, you can learna lot from James Bond movies. He is a true Man. Let’s play a little bit. Imagine that yougot the role of James Bond in an upcoming movie. How would you prepare yourself for it?You would probably watch most of the James Bond films already out there and practice infront of a mirror to make your part fit the original character perfectly.
Now I don’t ask you to watch all the James Bond films. But I ask you to watch a few, andinstead of focusing on the spectacular action scenes, pay attention to the main character.Observe how he walks, how he talks, the tone of his voice and how he interacts withwomen. What he says is not that important, but how he says it - you can learn a lot fromthat. He is always confident, calm and casual. He knows how to lead, and he knows thatwomen will always follow him, without doubt. So I suggest you go to your favorite videostore now and rent a few James Bond films if you haven’t already done so.
Here is a list describing confident, Manly body language. Use it to calibrate yours:
1. Arms. Folding your arms is a closed position. It means that you could be hiding something,you’re not comfortable, you don’t want to talk, or you don’t like what the other person issaying. A confident Man is always comfortable and doesn’t have to hide anything. Heusually has his arms by his sides or partially in his pockets.
2. Legs. Closing your legs, crossing them or keeping your feet together might show insecurity.Stand with your feet wider apart. Of course, a 4.5-foot straddle would be ridiculous. Stand ina comfortable, natural way.
3. Eyes. Most of the time, you should look the other person in the eyes. Don’t stare at herawkwardly; just catch a glance here and there and maintain eye contact when you can.Never stare at the ground when talking to someone either. You are not a kid who got badgrades in school and is afraid to talk to daddy. Look away to the side, but never down.Confidence should be radiating from your glance.
4. Posture. Stand erect, and don’t bow your back. And, since I suspect no one pushed a postup your ass, don’t stand firmly in a stiff way. You can stand loose without arching yourback, right? Right.
5. Smiling. It’s always a good idea to smile. It disarms people. It’s scientifically proven thatsmiling will not only give good feelings to the smile, but to the smiler as well. Yes, that’syou. So don’t be afraid to do it. You shouldn’t always have a big grin on your face, but whentalking to women or approaching a girl, make sure to smile a lot. It makes a good impressionand even helps her loosen up while talking to you. She won’t be as afraid as she would be ifyou approached with a serious look on your face. So remember what I say, and drop themacho thing, OK?
A confident person is usually in a relaxed and comfortable state. He avoids making fastmoves. He doesn’t play with his fingers or shake his legs nervously. Every move you makeand every muscle you move should be the result of a conscious decision and not caused byanxiety. Walk slowly, but casually. Don’t walk like a robot, please. Be calm and relaxed.You are not in a hurry. You don’t have to run. You are not being chased. Move at your ownpace. And don’t be afraid to take up some space as you move. Of course, you don’t want towalk with your hands spread 6 feet apart, but show that you can fill the space around you.
By Johan M Krost
Jun
16
Posted by admin
According to a study by Jupiter Research the online dating market in the US will grow to $932 million annually by 2011. This is good news because it means their will be more online dating partners to choose from.
The downside is information overload. Too many choices can lead many people not to take action. While you do not want to be choosy to the point that no one fits the bill, you should have in place some filters to make the process a little bit easier.
1. Ask informative questions
This can be a long process but it is absolutely necessary. In the offline world it’s a little bit easier to size the person up and decide if you want to make a go of it. Not so with online dating. You have to keep probing just to make sure it’s is okay to even meet with this person for the first time. Don’t be afraid to ask the questions that need asking. Find out about their hobbies, goals, educational background as well as other interests. Make sure what they say matches their profile and even then try to investigate further. This is not only for your safety (being anonymous is both a blessing and a curse in the online world) but to see if there is a connection that the two of you can build on.
2. Attraction
When you see someone’s profile do you think nice, no thanks or maybe? You should be able to answer that one quickly. Yes you want to get to know a person beyond their photo but let’s face it; right now that and the profile are all you’ve got to go on. Attraction is one of the main ingredients to building a dating relationship. If it’s not there then don’t waste your time. There are too many other choices out there waiting for you.
3. Personalize
With the overwhelming number of potential dating partners it’s easy to develop a standard response. When you see someone you are interested in try to personalize your messages. You don’t know the person so be respectful but let them know there was something in their profile or photo that caught your eye; the less obvious the better. Showing keen observation is a plus. A good sense of humor in your correspondence doesn’t hurt either.
4. The Best Policy
If a potential dating partner tells you they are a world class pilot but what they really mean is they work the baggage terminal at the local airport you would rightly be angry. So be honest with the person you are interested in. A little exaggeration here and there may jazz up the profile but it is no way to start or build a dating relationship. Lying to the other person is bad enough but it also shows a lack of trust in yourself; not believing that what you bring to the table is just as good as what the other person has to offer. Wrong. Honesty is not only essential but very attractive.
Online dating is a numbers game and it can be overwhelming. But when it works it’s as good as anything offline. Utilize the tips above and take advantage of this growing phenomenon to find that special someone in your life.
by Daryl Campbell
Jun
12
Posted by admin
In the movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray finds himself reliving the same day over and over again until he basically gets things right, including his dating relationship. Living the same date over and over again can either be a blessing or a curse. In real life however you do not get a second chance to make a first impression. This means you are going to have at least one rotten date in your life (if you have not experienced it already) and there is no going back to correct it.
It can be a lot of things that contribute to a bad date which are not in your control. Rotten weather, a restaurant with less than stellar service or some other external circumstance that neither of you could have predicted. Hopefully you and your date will have a sense of humor about such misfortunes and allow it to draw the two of you closer together.
And then there is the obvious. For whatever reason, it is not working between you and your date. It could be a personality clash, lack of conversation to the point of uncomfortable silence or a number of other things. You may not want to write the other person off fully but for now this date is done.
So how can you deal with a rotten date after all is said and done
1. You Are Forgiven
There is a tendency for people to beat themselves up terribly when a date goes bad. They keep asking themselves the same question; what do I do wrong? It is okay to critique yourself to see if there was something you could have said or done differently to make the date go smoother, but if you are using that question to punish yourself then stop right there. Nobody is perfect and beating yourself up from the time your bad date ended to the time of your next date is a good form of self sabotage.
Keep in mind it takes two to tango so unless you were blatantly rude and obnoxious, it is okay to give some of that blame to the other person. You do not have to call them up and start critiquing them either. Just accept the fact that what is done is done and move on.
2. The Friendly Shoulder
It is not good to keep things bottled up inside of you. The best thing to do sometimes after a bad date is to talk it over with a good friend or a close relative. They may be able to offer objective criticism and advice; or they may understand that the only thing you need right now is someone who is willing to listen. If they are willing to give you the friendly shoulder to vent, cry or laugh on then by all means take it.
3. Get Going
You can avoid a lot of self pity by forcing yourself to get involved with other activities. Exercise, go out with friends to a movie or a restaurant (if your bad date happened in a certain restaurant, try to go back to that place with your friends to show there is no lingering stigma) or plan a special occasion for yourself. Getting active is a great way to truly put the bad date experience behind you.
Things happen in life and a rotten date is one of them. The key is to not beat yourself up over it. Just know that it is okay to forgive you and the other person, find a friendly shoulder and by all means get going with activity. This way you can go a long way to guaranteeing your next date will be a good one.
Jun
08
Posted by admin
Okay… most likely it’s because you were a lousy bad date.
You’ve done all the things the dating experts told you to do on how to meet women and lo and behold it worked. You met an attractive woman and she wants to go out with you. Great. However if you want to make this first date your last and guarantee that she avoids any future contact with you as if you had a plague from the 12th century than utilize the following tips:
1. Lateness
You planned out this date in great detail. You obviously planned also not to be on time. It is one thing to call and let her know you are running a little behind schedule but are on the way. It is another to show up an hour later (or worse) and not even give her the courtesy of a phone call. When it comes to going out somewhere, many women are sticklers for promptness. You do not get a second chance to make a first impression and showing up late tells her you are not really taking this date seriously
2. What conversation?
Your date starts talking and talking and talking. Not because she wants to but because you do not have anything to say other than an occasional “uh-huh”. It could be nerves on your part or you were just unprepared to speak on any subject. Whatever it is, having to drag conversation out of your date is not a woman’s idea of fun.
This goes for the opposite end of the spectrum also. Practicing conversation hogging or slapping down her opinion each time she attempts to contribute to the discussion may give her the following impression: “This guy is a jerk.” Chances are that’s not the vibe you wanted to give out.
3. What humor?
You don’t know any jokes. You don’t make any humorous comments. As a matter of fact, when she says something funny you go out of your way to analyze it and find the serious point in what she was trying to say. Yuck. No one wants to be around a stick in the mud. Sharing some laughs with her can work absolute wonders so lighten up.
Now keep in mind she never agreed to go out on a date with Bozo the Clown either. Laughing at anything and everything is not healthy. Doing this could make her a little nervous about you. She could also come to the conclusion you have some serious issues to work out.
4. Pretend
This is known in some circles as lying. Sure you want to impress her but exaggerating your importance is not the way to do it. Starting a dating relationship with a lie is a formula for disaster. If your date senses that you are lying, that disaster will come sooner than you think.
5. She reminds me of…
If you want to guarantee this is your last date with her than start here. You are out with her and talking about your ex wife, former girlfriends or any other women you have on your mind is not going to further the relationship. She agreed to go out on this date with you. You would do well to treat her like she is the most important woman in your life at this moment.
Of course there are other things you can do to foul up your chances of getting a second date. Talking on your cell phone incessantly, forgetting her name (repeatedly) or drifting off to never never land when she is talking. All are pretty effective but for right now stick with the five listed above and before you know it, you will be home every night watching reruns of Sanford and Son.
Written by Darly Campbell
Jun
07
Posted by admin
Well, conduct an exclusivity talk is an option.
I know it’s not easy but you got to do it eventually. When is the right time? Either use your gut feel or look for telling signs and cues that the the other person feels the same way.
“Your relationship should speak for itself in a certain way,” says Robin Gorman Newman, author of How to Marry a Mensch. “How you feel between dates is as important as how you feel on your dates. If you’re nervous, unsure, don’t hear from the other person when you thought you would, or when that person said he or she would call—you might want to prepare yourself for the worst.”
There should be no fear talking about it. Come on, exclusivity does not mean engagement, and it is certainly not marriage! It just means you’re starting to trust each other, and you can still work out what, besides not having sex with other people, “exclusive” means for you.
“You can put it this way,” says Catherine Cardinal, author of A Cure for the Common Life. “You can say: ‘I’m the kind of person who doesn’t have sex with someone unless I know it’s exclusive, and I want to know if that’s the kind of person you are, too.”
Whatever it is, choose the right spot to talk about this exclusivity thingy. You don’t want to do it when you are heavily into kissing and petty. Why? Hey, you will be at the mercy of your hormones!
Jun
05
Posted by admin
Many people refuse to even consider online dating. When you ask them why, you get reasons that range from skepticism about the whole process to fear of what they maybe getting into. A lot of people just want to stick with the tried and true traditional dating. They figure the risks will be a lot less than meeting someone they have never seen in person.
While that is a fair point, it seems to neglect the fact that traditional dating also contains a certain amount of risk. For instance even if a good friend sets you up with a blind date, you have no idea of what you maybe walking into. Yet thousands of people every year still go out on blind dates.
Online dating is no different and like the offline world you have to practice caution and common sense when hooking up for the first time.
1. The Meeting Place
No matter how much you two hit it off when you are chatting online, keep in mind you still do not really know each other. Do not kid yourself into believing that meeting at your house or theirs will put both of you at ease and make the date go better. It might but do not take that chance. You can do perfectly well learning about the other person in a public place. In addition, stay away from secluded areas and places with poor lighting. You can always do some reconnaissance work and scope out the meeting place ahead of time. Try to avoid any first date that appears to start a little too late in the evening. If you are jittery bring along a chaperone and encourage your date to do the same.
2. Transportation
If the two of you have your own cars, then use them. Do not offer to pick your date up and vice versa. Do not have a vehicle? Then make arrangements with a friend or a family member (offer to pay for gas). In the event that your people cannot provide transportation, carry money for a cab or just catch the bus. Politely decline if your date does offer a ride. If you two are on the same wavelength they should understand where you are coming from.
3. Non alcoholic
Drinking has long been a part of the social scene. Nothing wrong with that but try your best to avoid it on your first date. If you do drink, keep it to just one (preferably something very mild) and nurse it. It is not that you are on a quest to get drunk; maybe one beverage does not even affect you but it can impair your judgment no matter how minuscule. When you are on this first date, you want and need all of your faculties to be sharp.
4. Tell someone
Do not just walk out of the house without letting your family and friends know where you are going. If you have a cell phone carry it with you. Make sure you check in with them during and after the date; especially afterwards. To check in during the date, just excuse yourself briefly. The key word here is BRIEFLY. Being away too long might make your date a little nervous.
5. Listen to You
Your mind is telling you the evening is going very well but your intuition is ringing like a five alarm fire bell. If it does not feel right to you then cut the date short and leave at once. Do not be embarrassed and you are under no obligation to go into a detailed explanation of why. Just politely make your apologies and go. Trust your intuition and let it play a major role in your decision making process. Better an awkward exit now then a bad situation later.
Dating carries risks when you are meeting someone for the first time. Sure you want to be relaxed and have a great time but you still must practice some safety tips. Meeting someone new can be exhilarating but to keep it on the positive side requires a little common sense and caution on your part.
by Daryl Campbell
