Jul
21
Posted by admin
Pressure from sociological forces such as TV programming, movies, advertising, family, and friends dictate that you must pair off for a long-term relationship and join the herd or “couples only” club.
While this is easy for those who happen to be fated to have a relationship with a compatible, long-term partner, what about everyone else?
Based on our extensive empirical research, you meet who you’re meant to meet when you’re meant to meet them. For those who don’t meet “the one” before age 30, 40, or whatever other age they feel they’re supposed to secure a “permanent” partner, it can cause a lot of anxiety and even depression.
If you’re single, rather than focusing on what you don’t have in your love life, we recommend embracing the benefits; there are many of being on your own, and we list some of them below.
1) Freedom. As a single person, you can do what you want, when you want. Yes, in a karmic sense, everything you do, say, and intend comes back to you either in this life and more often in a future life, but when you’re single you aren’t accountable to anyone else.
2) No compromising. Even people in compatible relationships need to compromise occasionally. As a single person, you don’t need to surrender anything unless you choose to.
3) More time to focus on other areas of your life. Career, health, friendship, and other goals can take center stage with all the energy you need to accomplish them.
4) No in-laws. As a single person, there are no obligations to spend time with people you may not really want to.
5) Solo vacations are fun (you meet more people).
6) If you live alone, your space is yours to do with as you please.
7) You can live out your fantasies, within ethical and legal boundaries, and no one will try to stop you or tell you that you are “wrong” if they don’t happen to agree.
You never have to deal with telling someone it’s over and having them try to guilt you into staying together. Read the rest of this entry »
Jul
13
Posted by admin
Sometimes my women clients find themselves in a rut of attracting married men. This is actually different than being attracted to married men. There are a number of reasons why married men might find you attractive:
1. If you’re dating in mid life, there are lots of married or unavailable men - that’s just a fact. According to the census, 50% are taken, but that doesn’t mean they stop looking or (for some) stop considering their options.
2. You are attractive. If you’re a good looking woman who keeps herself in shape, men are going to look. This is actually positive because it proves that you are attractive. Think of this as flattery and evidence from the Universe of your appeal. But keep in mind, you don’t need to follow up with any of these unavailable men.
3. You’re new, you’re fun, you’re fresh meat. This resembles the “New Cow Theory” from the movie of the same name with Ashley Judd and Hugh Jackman. The idea being that with cattle, bulls never want to mate with the same cow twice. They always want a new cow because they are ensuring survival of the species. Now women are not cows and men are not bulls, and all men don’t always need a new woman. But some married men do have that grass is greener attitude.
However, all women do not run into this problem with the same frequency. For some, it seems like the only men attracted to them are married. So what’s at the bottom of this attraction situation? Here are a few reasons why this might be happening. Maybe there’s a part of you that:
* Doesn’t really believe you’ll find a decent, available guy
* Thinks all the good men are taken
* Believes all men are scoundrels
* Worries that you’ll never have a good relationship
These beliefs can really get in the way of meeting single, available men.But I do have two powerful suggestions that may help shift your focus to imagining and MANifesting the right man for you:
1. Start believing that there are great single men out there. Think positively along these lines several times a day. Shifting your thinking opens you to more possibilities. Everyone wants to be right. Maybe you remain right about men, when you attract cheaters - proving your point - that there are no good men. Start believing there ARE good men, and make yourself right by finding evidence of good men out there.
2. Ask yourself, “What am I doing to meet men and am I really open to getting to know different types of guys? This exercise can be very revealing because often women discover they say “no” far more often than “yes” to meeting new men. See if you can say “yes” to a broader spectrum of guys online or where ever meet them and just try to get to know them as people. There are no perfect men (or women) but chances are very strong that there is someone just right for you.
By Ronnie Ann Ryan
Jul
09
Posted by admin
Speed dating is a great fun to do. This type of dating is more a social interaction then the actual romantic stuff. Many people just love this open dating style provided by the speed dating competitions.
One feels a lot of hesitation before going in the speed dating contests. The core issue is the type of questions one should ask from his “short-term” date. In speed dating, every one has a short time to converse with each of the other participants of the event. The time allocated to interact with each other can be as short as a minute or a maximum of ten minutes. It’s impossible to get to know each other in such a short span of time.
Here lies the key, as you move from person to person, you should take notes or have some other way in which to record your preliminary impressions of the people you’ve met. You can have a chance of socializing with them later on.
One should ask simple and brief questions during these short interactions. You can ask about the other person’s name, age, interests etc. Asking very personal questions like e-mail, phone number or address is considered too unruly for speed dating sessions. One must ask basic questions and that too rather quickly.
As you move from one table to another during the speed dating, it’s possible that you repeat the same questions for other potential dates. Well there is no harm in it but it would look better if you ask different questions from different people. There are plenty of questions you can ask like favorite color, season and so on and so forth. Also never forget to jot down the important aspects of each date as it will make easier the process of actual dating, if your scores match.
By Jimmy Shergill
Jul
05
Posted by admin
To succeed in dating, one must have a positive outlook and mindset. If you really want to find your lover and you are sincere about it, no one can stop you from achieving your target.
Online dating has become the norm these days and people find it difficult to excel in this field. One can easily find a partner if he or she follows some basic rules.
Don’t mention your past relationships
One should never mention his/her past experiences with potential mates, especially in early stages. That can be counterproductive and your potential lover may think that you are still involved with your ex. You just have to get over that feeling.
Be Self-Centered
Online dating is a tough game where you have to project yourself to a maximum level. This aspect requires you to be little selfish. You should never run after every Tom, Dick, Lisa or Mary on the online dating sites. If someone is not interested then you should also follow your own path.
Be Optimistic
Have a faith that you’ll definitely find a partner from the dating site. You should always be optimistic and full of life and energy. You can find long term relationships on the internet. You just have to accept that fact.
Have your own style
One should always follow his/her own style in online dating. If you try to follow others, then you would lessen your chances of meeting someone special. People like individuality and love to meet with people who have their own style.
Give respect, Get respect
If you treat others with respect, in return they’ll also give you respect. Relationships are made on mutual trust and bonding and you should always be true to your partner.
Have a superb profile
If you have a nice online presence then the chances of meeting your soul mate will also increase. It’s a global phenomenon that well defined online profiles get much more hits then those who are dull and boring.
Increase your exposure
The more you browse the internet dating portals and have a continued presence, the more people will take a notice of you. Always try to interact with the maximum number of people on these site, you’re just increasing your chances. It’s a game of marketing you know.
By Jimmy Shergill
Jul
01
Posted by admin
The dating world can be a very intimidating place. It’s even more so if you are a shy person. Trying to approach a woman you are interested in can become overwhelming if you find yourself feeling uncomfortable in social situations. With the right dating advice for shy guys you can learn how to strike up a conversation with an attractive woman and ensure that she finds you charming and intriguing.
One of the best pieces of dating advice for shy guys is to carefully choose where you go to meet women. Most men consider a crowded bar or nightclub the optimum choice. It’s not. If you are unsure about how to get a woman’s attention, going to a crowded nightspot will make it even more challenging. Most nightclubs will be packed with other single men all looking for the same thing you are. You’d do much better to go to a relaxed spot where you know you’ll have something to talk to a woman about. Pick a grocery store, hardware store or library. Not only will your competition be much less but it’s a lot easier to get her attention by asking about something as non-threatening as how delicious the fruit is at this time of year or what book she recommends.
Listening can sometimes be a lost art form, particularly in the singles scene. One of the most helpful pieces of dating advice for shy guys is to listen when you are interested in a woman. Once you approach here, ensure that you listen carefully to what she says. If you’ve been nervous in the past about what you’ll talk to an attractive woman about, that issue can be solved by listening and picking up on what she is saying. If she talks about her work, ask her questions about it. Not only will it keep the conversation flowing smoothly but your interest in her will really impress her too.
There’s no shame in bringing along some support when you are venturing out to meet women. Bring along a single friend and look to them for encouragement. It can be much easier to approach a woman if you are with someone else. She’ll likely also see you as less threatening. Once the conversation starts, your friend can politely excuse himself leaving you to focus just on the woman. This is great dating advice for shy guys because it can give them a little extra boost in confidence knowing they’ve got someone supportive nearby.
Women understand that not all men are lady killers. They are actually incredibly grateful for that fact. Once you get to know a woman, don’t be afraid to tell her that you are a little shy. It will give her some insight into how you’re feeling and it will make you feel better knowing she understands.
Even shy guys can have amazing success with beautiful women.
By Gillian Reynolds
Jun
28
Posted by admin
Since we live in an information age that is active twenty four hours a day and seven days a week, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by the countless options and decisions we are confronted with on a regular basis. Nowhere is this more apparent than dating
Relationships between men and women have crossed a whole new threshold. Factor in some of the newer innovations like internet and speed dating and it becomes clear the possibilities seem almost endless. But times cannot change what many of us feel before, during and after a date. In spite of knowing the other person for quite some time, being comfortable with them in a different environment and getting an enthusiastic yes when you ask them for a date, it still does not stop your nerves from giving you plenty of grief.
A big part of being nervous is of course you want the date to go right. Carefully planning a date and then watching it fall apart before your eyes is a nightmare we all dread. No question if you have ever experienced this, there is a little voice of doubt saying, “Here we go again.One other explanation is lack of self-assurance. You may not have experienced a bad date or this may even be your first date but you still feel shaky. For some reason it always seems like the equivalent of having to do a public speaking engagement in front of a tough audience.
It is not to that extreme but it can feel like you are auditioning and in a way you are. You are selling the product known as you and hope the prospective buyer (your date) like what they see and hear. If they so no then you are faced with rejection which no matter how you look at it can be very painful. All of us want to be wanted. It is easy to understand why anyone who has ever been rejected would be reluctant to try again. No is a simple word that packs a terrific punch that can shake anyone to the core.
So what’s the alternative? Not to date anyone and in the long run that’s far worst. Never giving a relationship a chance because your nerves just could not stand anything unconstructive can do more damage than experiencing rejection. Does rejection hurt? Yes but it doesn’t mean that your world will come to an end. Just keep in mind that if they reject you then it is their loss.
Your date is not on a pedestal. While you definitely want your date to accept you there is no reason to beg for it. It is all about give and take and realizing both of you are on the same level. Be confident in what you have to offer the other person. If they accept, then that is something to build on, if not then wish them well and keep looking for the person that is more in tune to your frequency; they do exist.
Accept the fact that a certain amount of nervousness is going to exist and in some ways can keep you focused on the task at hand. Do all you can to guarantee it does not take over the date. Relax and expect that you and your date will have a good time. With that mindset you will.
Written by Daryl Campbell
Jun
24
Posted by admin
“I Want You to Want Me” is an art exhibit premiering in New York City. As reported by the New York Times the purpose of the exhibit is to show how people act when they are alone and in comparison to what they present to others in their online dating profile.
One of the creators of the exhibit Jonathan Harris explains, “People think contradictions are sexy, so they try to describe themselves as having contradictions.”
That is probably true. Along with an air of mystery, people are also excited meeting another person who does not quite fit into a stereotypical box. For instance you may see someone’s photo where they are dressed to the nines in punk rock attire and figure that tells you all you need to know. However after doing more investigating you discover they have a passion for silent movies and 17th century Italian paintings. Finding out something unexpected about a potential dating partner can have a startling effect especially when it turns out to be compatible.
Unfortunately with online dating, contradictions can also mean something else entirely. In other words, they are just flat out lying. There could be any number of reasons why they refuse to tell you the truth.
1. The Unthrilling Life
They read your profile, chat with you and come to the conclusion you have led a pretty interesting life. They on the other hand do not feel so good about their experiences. It could be embarrassment, just plain hurt or the feeling they cannot compete with what you have to offer. Should they feel that way? No. But many of us sometimes analyze our lives to the point of ridiculous.
2. They REALLY like you
Sally Field’s Academy Award acceptance speech has become part of our pop culture folklore: “You like me. You really like me.” Many people have made fun of that speech over the years but more than anything it was all about acceptance. No matter what level a person may be on, everyone wants to be accepted in some way. Sometimes if a person likes you enough, they are more than willing to shade or change their answers outright so you will accept them. They may think this is flattering. It is not. It has the stench of neediness written all over it.
3. The Dark Side
Thankfully instances of online dating hookups that have gone tragically wrong are few and far between. But they do happen. There are people out there whose sole intent is to pull you into their own personal insane asylum; so they will say anything they can to get you to open the door. They must be cunning to do this but they know that mystery, human curiosity and contradictions can have your emotions spinning out of control.
Contradictions in an online dating profile are great as long as they are of the truthful variety. Knowing that a person’s likes and interests go further than what you initially assumed is a wonderful thing. Building a relationship on a lie however even if the intentions are good can only lead to disastrous results for everyone involved.
Written by Daryl Campbell
Jun
20
Posted by admin
By all accounts the divorce rate in America has been on the decline. According to USA Today, it is now at its lowest level since 1970. Certainly this is a cause for celebration but it does not negate the fact that The United States still leads the rest of the world in that department or that one out of every two marriages will end in divorce.
There are a myriad of reasons as to why many relationships end badly. Sometimes in spite of the best efforts of both parties it still does not work. But more often than not many a couple has made a concerted effort (consciously or unconsciously) to sabotage their relationship. While there are a number of ways to throw a monkey wrench into the proceedings, the following must be at the top of any list when it comes to breaking up.
1. Communication Barrier
This is one of the main reasons relationship coaches remain in business. Many couples don’t talk. If they do talk at it all it’s usually past each other or turns it an argument. Lack of communication also is to a certain degree a lack of trust. You don’t believe you can share more of yourself. Whether it’s fear of rejection or just not believing they will be understood, the lack of trust can easily turn into not sharing anything at all.
The added side affect is that it has a tendency to put the other person on the defensive. They believe now they have done something wrong and since you are not giving them any indication one way or the other, the tension grows.
2. Money
We’ve seen many shows where a couple arguing over money has been played for laughs but in the real world it’s no joke. A survey by Redbook and Smart Money magazines shows over seventy percent of people in a relationship talk to their partners at least once a week about money. It is so easy with soaring prices across the economic board for a discussion about basic household finances to get heated. Taking care of the family and home should be a gimme but even in that situation two people are bound to have a different perspective.
This is true even if you don’t have money troubles. One partner might not feel it’s a big deal since they have money to burn. That can cause some resentment particularly if one of you has been the primary breadwinner. No one can (or should) get their way all the time in any healthy relationship but there has to be boundaries. By all means make sure you and your partner do not work out a clear understanding or honor any financial decision you may reach.
3. Player
This should go without saying. So why doesn’t it? In a recent study conducted by Infidelity Facts, 57% of men and 53% women surveyed admit to cheating on their partner regardless of whether it is dating or marriage. Excuses can range from they are stuck in a loveless relationship and the new person makes them feel alive again to the thrill of sneaking around and doing something a bit reckless.
Whatever the excuse, introducing a third person into the picture means in essence the current relationship is over. “I love my spouse but…” is not going to cut it. Any chance to work out whatever problems you may be experiencing in your relationship will disappear once you get entangled with another person.
There is no quick fix or magic cure when it comes to relationships. It’s hard work day by day, hour by hour. Even couples that have been together awhile and think they have the problems solved are shocked when life turns their relationship upside down. However if you want your relationship to end badly feel free to use any or all of the techniques above. They are guaranteed to do the trick.
Written by Daryl Campbell
Jun
17
Posted by admin
My name is Bond. James Bond. Don’t laugh: Even though they’re just fiction, you can learna lot from James Bond movies. He is a true Man. Let’s play a little bit. Imagine that yougot the role of James Bond in an upcoming movie. How would you prepare yourself for it?You would probably watch most of the James Bond films already out there and practice infront of a mirror to make your part fit the original character perfectly.
Now I don’t ask you to watch all the James Bond films. But I ask you to watch a few, andinstead of focusing on the spectacular action scenes, pay attention to the main character.Observe how he walks, how he talks, the tone of his voice and how he interacts withwomen. What he says is not that important, but how he says it - you can learn a lot fromthat. He is always confident, calm and casual. He knows how to lead, and he knows thatwomen will always follow him, without doubt. So I suggest you go to your favorite videostore now and rent a few James Bond films if you haven’t already done so.
Here is a list describing confident, Manly body language. Use it to calibrate yours:
1. Arms. Folding your arms is a closed position. It means that you could be hiding something,you’re not comfortable, you don’t want to talk, or you don’t like what the other person issaying. A confident Man is always comfortable and doesn’t have to hide anything. Heusually has his arms by his sides or partially in his pockets.
2. Legs. Closing your legs, crossing them or keeping your feet together might show insecurity.Stand with your feet wider apart. Of course, a 4.5-foot straddle would be ridiculous. Stand ina comfortable, natural way.
3. Eyes. Most of the time, you should look the other person in the eyes. Don’t stare at herawkwardly; just catch a glance here and there and maintain eye contact when you can.Never stare at the ground when talking to someone either. You are not a kid who got badgrades in school and is afraid to talk to daddy. Look away to the side, but never down.Confidence should be radiating from your glance.
4. Posture. Stand erect, and don’t bow your back. And, since I suspect no one pushed a postup your ass, don’t stand firmly in a stiff way. You can stand loose without arching yourback, right? Right.
5. Smiling. It’s always a good idea to smile. It disarms people. It’s scientifically proven thatsmiling will not only give good feelings to the smile, but to the smiler as well. Yes, that’syou. So don’t be afraid to do it. You shouldn’t always have a big grin on your face, but whentalking to women or approaching a girl, make sure to smile a lot. It makes a good impressionand even helps her loosen up while talking to you. She won’t be as afraid as she would be ifyou approached with a serious look on your face. So remember what I say, and drop themacho thing, OK?
A confident person is usually in a relaxed and comfortable state. He avoids making fastmoves. He doesn’t play with his fingers or shake his legs nervously. Every move you makeand every muscle you move should be the result of a conscious decision and not caused byanxiety. Walk slowly, but casually. Don’t walk like a robot, please. Be calm and relaxed.You are not in a hurry. You don’t have to run. You are not being chased. Move at your ownpace. And don’t be afraid to take up some space as you move. Of course, you don’t want towalk with your hands spread 6 feet apart, but show that you can fill the space around you.
By Johan M Krost
Jun
16
Posted by admin
According to a study by Jupiter Research the online dating market in the US will grow to $932 million annually by 2011. This is good news because it means their will be more online dating partners to choose from.
The downside is information overload. Too many choices can lead many people not to take action. While you do not want to be choosy to the point that no one fits the bill, you should have in place some filters to make the process a little bit easier.
1. Ask informative questions
This can be a long process but it is absolutely necessary. In the offline world it’s a little bit easier to size the person up and decide if you want to make a go of it. Not so with online dating. You have to keep probing just to make sure it’s is okay to even meet with this person for the first time. Don’t be afraid to ask the questions that need asking. Find out about their hobbies, goals, educational background as well as other interests. Make sure what they say matches their profile and even then try to investigate further. This is not only for your safety (being anonymous is both a blessing and a curse in the online world) but to see if there is a connection that the two of you can build on.
2. Attraction
When you see someone’s profile do you think nice, no thanks or maybe? You should be able to answer that one quickly. Yes you want to get to know a person beyond their photo but let’s face it; right now that and the profile are all you’ve got to go on. Attraction is one of the main ingredients to building a dating relationship. If it’s not there then don’t waste your time. There are too many other choices out there waiting for you.
3. Personalize
With the overwhelming number of potential dating partners it’s easy to develop a standard response. When you see someone you are interested in try to personalize your messages. You don’t know the person so be respectful but let them know there was something in their profile or photo that caught your eye; the less obvious the better. Showing keen observation is a plus. A good sense of humor in your correspondence doesn’t hurt either.
4. The Best Policy
If a potential dating partner tells you they are a world class pilot but what they really mean is they work the baggage terminal at the local airport you would rightly be angry. So be honest with the person you are interested in. A little exaggeration here and there may jazz up the profile but it is no way to start or build a dating relationship. Lying to the other person is bad enough but it also shows a lack of trust in yourself; not believing that what you bring to the table is just as good as what the other person has to offer. Wrong. Honesty is not only essential but very attractive.
Online dating is a numbers game and it can be overwhelming. But when it works it’s as good as anything offline. Utilize the tips above and take advantage of this growing phenomenon to find that special someone in your life.
by Daryl Campbell
